Cerberus Returns

And she's upset....

Hello, acquaintances. This is ya gal again…

I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact much lately, but other affairs necessitated my involvement. My nemesis Dumbell and I got into one hell of a fight, to start with- I mean like a King Kong vs. Godzilla fight, given our super powers and all. I slapped her down, she slapped me down, I bit her, she bit me, and we both growled and snarled VERY loudly. I won’t repeat what we said to each other, but suffice it to say, my virtue, dignity and life were on the line several times. I finally had to bring out the big guns and hypnotize her into going very far away and leaving me alone…

And then….and then….

The rotten slobs who call themselves Immigration, Customs and Enforcement tracked me down, and, as I am half-alien through my father’s mighty lineage, they threatened to deport me. To where I have no idea, but I extremely disliked the fact that they shouted very loudly at me and pulled their weapons on me when I enquired about that.

You do NOT raise your voice to ME and GET AWAY WITH IT!

As soon as I swiftly grabbed the gun out of the hands of one of them and bent it into oblivion, they understood and left very quickly.

And then D. and some of my other nemeses teamed up to gang up on me and put me out of business. Again, I nearly bought it when they somehow manage to find a needle that could cut through my invulnerable pelt and skin and poked me with it a few times. I tricked them all into thinking the others were the problem and was able to slip away while they fought and argued with each other.

But enough of that.

I have some other issues that must be addressed.

Such as this:

https://www.animationmagazine.net/2025/12/exclusive-clip-charlie-the-wonderdog-suits-up-for-the-big-screen/

Who, exactly, is this poltroon when he is at home? And how did he manage to get a film company to buy his life story?

I have had more than enough of Hollywood exploiting my race and my vocation for a passle of cheap laughs. (And, yeah, Krypto, that means you.)

If I’m the Wonder Woman of canine heroes, this fellow is the Plastic Man.

Listen carefully if you can hear or read this, Charles. You had better hope and pray that our paths never cross.

Because that game your playing?

I’m the one that brought it here!

And speaking of games…

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mibuddypet/mibuddyworlds-first-ai-powered-dog-translation-collar?ref=auxaa1

What the bloody hell is this?

“Mibuddy”, it says. “AI Translation Collar.”

God help a truly intelligent dog like myself would ever weat such a thing! And even some of the more dingbatted ones of my kind don’t need that.

First of all, it’s AI. Seriously: anybody and everybody who believes that this thing is the savior of the world, like they seem to believe, is severely mistaken.

It’s right in the name: artificial intelligence. I.e.- fake!

Second of all: the only reason this thing exists is that you humans have never bothered to learn our language. You get our body language wrong all the time! And when I try to communicate with some of you in one of your languages, you run off screaming and stuttering like you use to do to poor old Casper the Friendly G-g-g-host!

I am doing my part to educate the animals of the world to understand your cotton-picking gibberish so that we can avoid further misunderstandings of this nature.

You do yours.

That is all…