21 Comments

I need a little context here. Is this a screenplay? Short story? Is it part of something longer?

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A short story. I tend to write stories about the same characters as if they were a television series, though.

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What happened to chapter V ? Did it get censored with Dinny and the wolf Sawyer. Toss me a bonafide answer. I was firmly gelling with delight throughout the scenes. Good howl of a read. Owwoooo.

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The roman numerals represents transitions in the story, not chapters. It's like how some people will use ### for that.

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But the transition V is missing in action.

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OH. Thank you- I'll fix it.

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I wait for clarity. Thanks.

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Though it may be a fantastical setting, Dinny's story is relatable in a real life context - am glad Dinny got recognized in the end - by Mrs Goldfishberg

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I was interested in their relationship too.

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I wish I had thought of that title!! Excellent

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Dinsdale’s journey is both humorous and heartfelt, and I loved how you brought the animation world to life with such vivid characters. Your blend of wit and action kept me engaged throughout—another great piece.

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Cute story, David. Very different, and I love the title! Chairman of the bored! 😁😁😁🤣🤣

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Your imagination is amazing and descriptions vivid. Fav: Mrs Goldfishberg.

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Those Dog darned CGI ers, I knew they would be trouble from the start!

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Did I detect an homage to Max Fleisher at the very beginning? Story drew me right in, enough so I didn't do other things I 'should' be doing. "Electronic claptrap" very endearing to the old. We had a strong preference for melody. Mrs Goldfishberg so well drawn.. I think I've met her.

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Delightful! This unique little gem is just brilliant. I'm happy for Dinny!

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Have you read or even better listened to Jasper Fford books about PDRs? Persons of dubious reality? Main character is Jack Sprat, who insists he’s not a fairy tale character. But… I love those.

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You craft some really impressive dialogue! Great job!

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Loved the title! You write terrific dialogue. It made the reading experience even better.

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Noice

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This is so cool. A screenplay/short story. Just loving this so much!

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