International Rabbit Day

Get to know the most powerful one....

(A guest post by Power Bunny, the mightiest rabbit in the universe…).

How are ya?

Don’t worry- I’m not gonna take too much of your time, only I was a little bit steamed not to know about this date earlier. You humans never tell me nothin’ before it’s actually a problem, and not before I can fix it so it never happened to start with!

Anyway, I was gonna go ‘round throwing fists, but my gal pal Cerberus talked me out of it, like she normally does when I get a swell head. She does this monologuing stuff a lot on here:

…so I figured I could give it a go and see what happens.

Only I ain’t nearly as well bred or articulate as she is, so don’t expect much.

If there’s one thing we superhero dames, and specifically superhero animal dames agree on, it’s that you media johns know very little about us and don’t bother to ask.

Even you supposedly “genius” types- Cerb’ and I had a bit of tussle with one of them a while ago:

When it comes especially to me and my fellow rabbits, though, you’re out of your damn gourds!

See, whenever you guys talked about a gal who ain’t got no brains who fawns around some handsome men, they get tapped as “bunnies”. (That bastard Hefner was the cause of that- may he rot!). And they show up everywhere- like “puck bunnies” around hockey rinks and “beach bunnies” on the shorelines. So some of you may get the idea that we haven’t got it all up there.

Let me tell you that you should not be throwing around that name lightly when it happens to belong to somebody! Because we aren’t all that dumb! You got to be plenty smart to survive long enough in the woods against anything with teeth that wants to feast on your corpse. And, as at least some of you in the know probably understand, we’re cagey enough to deal with predators on our own terms.

We’re not perfect, of course. I like a bit of rumpy pumpy when it’s on offer, and it’s gotten me in trouble:

And I sometimes get my pals into trouble on my behalf, owing to me being an irresponsible boozehound:

But when it comes to dealing with evil, I’m as serious as cancer:

So enough with the dimwit portrayal already!

And don’t get me started on that whole “they breed like rabbits” stuff. We’re no different than you when it comes to those things. It just happens that we tend to multiply quickly when given free reign in open spaces, that’s all.

You humans put us to shame that way, anyhow- there’s a shit-ton more of you than there are of us! And yet our breeding is what you worry about!

Look: I believed that stuff once. When my first rabbit boyfriend and I got sloppy drunk one night and we both lost our virginity, I worried a bit about becoming a breeder. But nothing happened- his sperm were no match for my eggs, it seems. Even still, after I kicked him to the curb, I’ve never took another boy on of my species. Because my job can’t make me vulnerable to getting pegged, y’know. I’d be too out of shape and having to keep an eye on littles, besides.

Just keep this in mind- I’m pretty laid back, but I still have my limits. And anybody talking smack about lagomorphs in my presence is gonna get their mouth smacked right proper by my pink-furred guns. Not pretty.

Make sure it’s not you, ok?